Girl 2: [RP accent ] Well, one of the problems with this is that the seating isn’t right.

Girl 1: [Northern English accent] Yes, the men and women aren’t all sitting alternately round the table. There are two men and two women sitting next to each other.

Boy: [RP accent] Right. And I can already see quite a few pitfalls. I mean, we can’t put Napoleon next to Elizabeth I for a start!

Girl 2: Why not? They were both great leaders - they led their countries through difficult times. Wouldn’t they have a lot in common?

Boy: Maybe, but there might be a lot of tension. Remember the Battle of Trafalgar? Napoleon wanted to invade Britain. And the Spanish wanted to do the same in Elizabeth’s time

Girl 2: Of course! You’re right. That might cause a terrible argument. We want people to enjoy themselves, don’t we?

Girl 1: Yes, but we don’t want it to be boring either.

Girl 2: Absolutely! Anyway, moving on ... What if we change Elizabeth and Madonna round, and Madonna can sit at the head of the table? I’m sure Napoleon would have a lot to say to her ...

Boy: Yes, apparently he could be very charming - and was a great conversationalist.

Girl 1: Perhaps. But the trouble is, they say Napoleon didn’t have much time for women’s rights ...

Boy: And Madonna would be very outspoken on that subject! She has very strong opinions in favour of the equality of women. And she’d have Bono on her left. I’d imagine they’d have a lot in common - with the music and all that. They both...

Girl 2: No, hang on! I’ve just realised there’s a hitch here. Swapping Madonna and Elizabeth round wouldn’t help at all as we’d still have two women and two men sitting together.

Boy: Yes, Jane Austen and Elizabeth, and Socrates and Bill Gates. So we’ll have to put a man where the women are and move one of the women to the other side of the table.

Girl 2: Quite ... so who should we move?

Boy: Well, we could put Elizabeth in the middle, where Jane Austen is, and move Bill Gates next to her at the end. Then Jane Austen could sit on the other side, between Socrates and Bono.

Girl 2: With Madonna still at the head of the table? Yes, that could work. Bill Gates and Elizabeth are bound to get on. They’re both ambitious and I bet she’d be fascinated to hear about technology in the twenty first century - not to mention his philanthropic work.

Girl 1: And Jane Austen and Socrates would have a lot to talk about. She was a very astute observer of human nature. I’m sure she’d enjoy discussing philosophy with Socrates.

Boy: Perhaps, but on second thought, she did come from an 18th century country background, and had quite restricted social life. She might find Socrates a bit eccentric. They say he never used to wash and walked around barefoot!

Girl 2: Wait! Just to go back to the point you made about Elizabeth I. About moving her to Jane Austen’s place in the middle…

Girl 1: Right! She’d still be next to Napoleon! So that wouldn’t work either. Mmm … we don’t seem to be getting very far, do we?

Boy: Don’t worry. We’ll get round it somehow.

Girl 2: OK, let’s look at the options we’ve thought of so far. We suggested putting Madonna at the head of the table, with Napoleon on her right and Bono on her left.

Girl 1: And we thought Jane Austen could sit between Bono and Socrates, with Elizabeth I between Bill Gates and Napoleon. But of course, there are a couple of major problems with that.

Girl 2: OK, so let’s see if we can sort them out …